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Other than people pleasing personality, childhood trauma and low self-esteem there are people who cheat driven by selfishness or entitlement. Where the cheater has little to no remorse, where they feel because their husband or wife isn’t giving them sex or attention or appreciation they can do what they want. So whilst those that have sort help in the breakthrough program with me are people who want to change and have been using it to cover up their low self-worth and self-unhappiness, it may not be representative. For obvious reasons it is difficult to get the data.
A selfish cheater believes I deserve what I want and I don’t care who it hurts. Entitlement causes misery for the person and those around them.
When you believe you’re entitled to better treatment than others or that the rules don’t apply to you, or that you aren’t getting what you are owed in a relationship it will cause conflict, unhappiness and destructive behaviours like cheating.
I have had women share they felt they were entitled to cheat because their husband is working and didn’t spend enough time with them. Or men when their wife was not having sex with them when they were pregnant and looking after their new born baby justified their actions.
The difference is the mindset one person is cheating because they are looking for a fix to feel the void and emptiness they have and another because they have an entitlement mentality. This doesn’t mean that the person with the entitlement mentality cannot change, they can if there is a willingness to take responsibility, adopt a different mindset and approach to relationship problems.
As a certified trauma therapist, I get to the root of sex addiction with childhood trauma therapy for adults where I conduct inner child healing. I offer patients the chance to break lifelong compulsions with trauma-focused CBT for adults as a therapist in Dubai and Abu Dhabi.