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Cheating How to Recover and Rebuild Trust After an Affair

The first step in recovery of any addiction is admission of the addiction. Denial that the addiction is present. Denial that the person is in control of their urges or impulses or denial that the addiction is causing negative consequences, will prevent recovery. Denial is so powerful, no one wants to admit they cannot control their behaviour. No one also wants to admit that whilst the addiction brings temporary pleasure it is harming others and their view of themselves, often cheating addiction goes against a person’s moral values.



Cheating How to Recover and Rebuild Trust After an Affair



So many people addicted and well meaning therapists focus on the triggers. What caused you to do it, “I felt lonely / bored”  “oh we weren’t having sex” “we weren’t getting a long” “I had stress from work” “I was drunk” “I needed a relief” 


Looking at the triggers is helpful but not enough. Let’s take the analogy of a gun. The trigger on the gun is such a tiny part of the weapon right? It may have caused the explosion / problem behavior to erupt but what the focus really needs to be on is the wounding, the wounding that a person has from their past so that when a trigger happens the explosion occurs into behaviour that provides a relief but then negative consequences.  It’s the rest of the gun that needs to be examined the ammunition inside it.


I have helped people break free from their addiction time and time again through a througher examination of their hurts, beliefs and decisions made about themselves and their life. Not everyone is willing to be honest, to look at their past or triggers. Often when the denial continues to exist the person ends up finding a different addiction or ends up repeating the same behaviour once the pain of discovery has worn off. If you would like to find out more about working with me or my breakthrough program for individuals, you can visit my website to read more or book a 20 minute introduction call with me.


In the next podcast I will share some tips on what cheating and sex addicts can do to break free as well as some tips for those who find themselves traumatized by their partners deceit and cheating addiction


As a certified trauma therapist, I get to the root of sex addiction with childhood trauma therapy for adults where I conduct inner child healing. I offer patients the chance to break lifelong compulsions with trauma-focused CBT for adults as a therapist in Dubai and Abu Dhabi.

Mila TutorMila Tutor
07:10 25 Mar 23
I have worked with Nicola for some time now and have found her to be compassionate, kind, and extremely helpful. She has helped me a lot.
Riti SajitRiti Sajit
06:58 25 Mar 23
Nicola is a wonderful human 🤍 Thank you for helping me through my difficult time.Still living by your words and advice. I would definitely recommend anyone needing relationship counseling to try Nicola :)
Mihaela BotnariMihaela Botnari
12:54 17 Mar 23
Thank you for destroying my relationship. My partner reached out for support and you advised him that there is nothing for him to heal and that he should send his girlfriend for therapy, like this is your place to tell him. I’ve been through therapy myself and I know how to make the difference between a good therapist and someone who just wants to get more money, and the second seems to definitely be your purpose!
Helen HHelen H
19:13 10 Nov 22
Nicola’s support and advice proved invaluable when my marriage was struggling. Over a series of meetings (online and fact to face, to suit our needs), Nicola helped steer us through a very difficult time. She was always calm, neutral and never made us feel like we had failed or had ‘messed up’. Nicola has a wealth of experience and keeps up with current research, but has a very unique approach to getting you back on track. With regular support materials and just being there, she helped us realise that our relationship could go on; by making us look at ourselves and helping us consider the tools we needed to move forwards. I can honestly say that I don’t think our marriage would have survived such a difficult time without Nicola’s expertise. I often listen to Nicola’s podcasts on Spotify when I’m needing a bit of extra support. Thank you, Nicola
Justin LossJustin Loss
13:23 30 Jun 22
Nicola has been a massive help. I had tried traditional counseling and it had seemed to be moving me further away from what I wanted. After listening to several of Nicola's podcasts I decided to reach out to her. The discovery call was enlightening and she described a process that was more focused on creating a better future vs reliving the pass. From there I went through her Breakthrough Program...All I can say is Wow! Her program and guidance has quickly changed my mindset which has in turn improved all my relationships and overall stress level. I highly recommend working with Nicola and can't thank her enough for her help and care.
Ciaran CarlisleCiaran Carlisle
22:16 23 Jan 22
My partner and I spent a number of sessions with Nicola discussing our relationship difficulties, both together and one on one sessions. She has been so good to talk to - incredibly helpful and understanding with our problems.My partner and I have come out of this with a better understanding and move love for each other. Nicola has taught us many techniques to use in situations were we feel at odds which has been fantastic. We would recommend Nicola 100% for relationship advice.Thank you so much again.
Loida Delgado-PerezLoida Delgado-Perez
03:09 22 Jan 22
Nicola's marriage counselling have been life changing for both my partner and I. The learnings have been exponential and have transform us individually and as a couple. We reached out to Nicola at the lowest point of our relationship and about to break apart. Her compassionate and smart yet practical advice and exercises transform us in such a way that we are now at the best we've ever been personally and as a couple.As a result we've decided to get married and book Nicola every year for a couple's check in! I couldn't recommend her sessions more to anyone feeling stuck and wanting to be in a better place. Best investment of time, money and effort EVER. Thank you Nicola, you are an inspiration to me and many others :)
Christianne KaddoumChristianne Kaddoum
17:19 20 Oct 21
The hours I’ve spent working with Nicola have been the most valuable of my life.I now feel equipped to do things differently. It’s been the most liberating and empowering experience and I’ve learnt things that will stay with me forever.Through the excellent help from Nicola, it is now possible for me to have a different and healthier approach to various situations.She has professionally helped me to consider my perspectives in a way I hadn’t before.I can finally begin to reframe my life experience and see them in a whole new light.Thanks Nicola!