How to Talk To A Stubborn, Egotistical Husband / Wife – By Nicola Beer

When you are in a relationship, arguing with your partner can exhaust you and leave you feeling frustrated all the time. If you are prepared to get into an argument with your partner to confront them or try to change their behaviour, think about what you want. It’s also a good idea to find ways to redirect the conversation by steering them where you want to go rather than letting them control the argument. Remember to stay calm at all times in order to keep the situation as calm as possible. As well as to start calmly when I do my marriage counselling Abu Dhabi and Dubai or online in the couple sessions we always start off discussing what they value and appreciate about each other most to set a loving tone before we get into the complaints.

Here are 6 things to keep in mind when engaging with your husband or wife who is stubborn or egotistical and always has to be right.

How to deal with a stubborn egotistical wife / husband 1. Prepare yourself

Try to figure out what the underlying cause is for this person to act this way. Usually these kinds of people will fall into one of the two categories. Some can have some deep-rooted feelings of insecurity which makes them lash out like this as a way to cover it up. While others actually genuinely believe they know it all and feel like they are doing everyone a favour by offering (or forcing) their knowledge onto others. If you can identify which category your partner falls into, you may be able to act accordingly. Generally when an insecure know-it-all is told they are wrong they will become defensive. Try to ask leading questions instead with this kind of person which can work better. However, with the second type of person, it’s usually better to let them talk and offer up your opinion afterwards.

How to deal with a stubborn egotistical wife / husband 2.Think twice

You need to weigh up how much you are willing to risk in this relationship by choosing to engage with them. Think about how important this relationship is and how much you are willing to lose. Also, keep in mind how important this argument is in the greater scheme of things. Remember though, that no matter how careful you can think you are being, engaging in any argument can damage the relationship completely. Think of it this way, if you are working for a know it all, you could risk your job by engaging in an argument. If the person who you are engaging in an argument with is your partner, think about how important the relationship is and if it will survive the confrontation.

How to deal with a stubborn egotistical wife / husband 3. Decide what you want out of it

Choose what it is you are trying to get from this argument because you should have an objective, ultimately. Perhaps you are looking for them to see your side of things or you are looking for them to acknowledge how you have been feeling but whatever you are looking for you need to know what it is you want before you get into the argument.

How to deal with a stubborn egotistical wife / husband 4.Make sure your facts are right

Make sure you have your facts straight especially if you are arguing about something that is facts-based. Bring as much evidence into the discussion as you can to back yourself up and make sure when looking for evidence to help you that you use unbiase sources opposed to using ones that are telling you what you want to hear.

How to deal with a stubborn egotistical wife / husband 5.Listen

You need to make sure you also listen to your partner. Even if they think they are right, they still deserve to be heard just like you would want to be heard. And don’t just listen to them to reply, actually hear what they are saying. In the marriage makeover program I cover extensively how to take your marriage communication techniques to the next level you can read more about it here

How to deal with a stubborn egotistical wife / husband 6. Ask plenty of questions

Be sure to ask lots of questions because your partner may not be as forthcoming with the information as you would like them to be. By asking questions, you can figure out what is going on beneath the surface. So make sure you listen well and ask questions that will give you a better understanding of the argument.

How to deal with a stubborn egotistical wife / husband 7. Agree then offer your counter

This is one of the ways to argue with a person who thinks they know it all. By agreeing with them or taking their side, you are showing them that you understand what they are saying. And right after you agree, that is when you present your counter-argument. Say something like I hear what you’re saying, but here’s what I think.

How to deal with a stubborn egotistical wife / husband tip 8. Don’t be threatening

The way you say things in the argument can determine the outcome. If you put your opinion in a threatening way the other person is likely to shut down completely. The way you say it can help to get the other person to listen better. Be diplomatic about the way you put your comments across.

How to deal with a stubborn egotistical wife / husband 9. Move away from direct confrontation

Instead of confronting the person directly with advice, they can shut down and it defeats the purpose. Try asking questions instead of directly stating what you want to say. Ask as many questions to lead the person on the path you are trying to get them to follow. Directly telling them something won’t work in this kind of argument. In the couples counselling in Dubai and online I offer I cover how to avoid direct confrontation.

I also cover how to ask the right questions in the communication for marriages in the marriage makeover audio program which you can check out here

How to deal with a stubborn egotistical wife / husband 10. Don’t take things personally

This one may seem hard and it is but it would do you well to keep this top of mind throughout the argument. When you take things personally, you can get emotional and that is usually how the argument can unravel pretty quick. Loving yourself through this is key, if you struggle with low self-esteem and self-love for yourself and want to change it – check out this inspiring page for help with that

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