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How To Deal With a Stubborn Husband / Wife That Has To Be Right

I often get asked how to deal with a Husband or Wife who is a narcissist or how to deal with a Husband or Wife who is stubborn and has to be right. Read on if this applies to you.

There are many things which can become an irritation in a relationship and one of those things is when one person in the relationship always needs to be right. It does not matter what the conversation is or even if you argue. The other person is wired to always fight they are right and there is nothing more frustrating than a person who does that because they can never be wrong. The same applies if you are dealing with a husband or wife who is stubborn.

You probably tried in the beginning to get your partner to see things from your perspective but as it seems to go in one ear and out the other you stopped. Dealing with a husband or wife that has to be right can certainly feel like nothing you say matters and you may have given up on talking with them all together when a disagreement occurs. Maybe you are both stubborn and this is harming your relationship?

Living a life with someone who is always determined to be right can be exhausting and can lead many to feel invisible. In fact feeling ignored in a marriage is one of the main reasons people come to me for couple counselling in Dubai and on online.

So, if you feel neglected in your marriage and unseen because your husband or wife is demanding they are right all the time, before you head down the separation or divorce route, there are some things you may want to explore.

Nicola Beer is a couple counsellor in Dubai and Online and also has 3 award winning audio programs: The Empowered Love Formula, Marriage Makeover and Self-Love Energy Toolkit.The marriage makeover you can check out here

How to deal with a Husband or Wife Who Is a Narcissist / Stubborn Or Has To Be Right

Do not engage with your partner when they are stubborn won’t listen or are aggressive

When your partner is constantly trying to tell you that you are wrong, or always insisting they are right, this is a sign they are trying to bait you into a debate. This is how your partner may function or feel like things are normal for them because this is the way they are used to discussing things. Often it comes from the environment a person is raised in. If your husband or wife had a parent who always had to be right or were taught that being wrong is a sign of weakness, they may have learned never to give up on an argument. Some people also just love debates and arguing, I’ve even had a few clients share that this is how they show affection and their playfulness by debating topics. To them it was fun or humourous but for most people it’s torture arguing all the time.

Then there are men and women that like to create drama. Does your husband or wife always create drama? Most of the time behind the drama queen or drama king way of living is a deep need for attention. Often an unmet need from childhood, so they create drama to be seen or to test their partners love.

No matter the reason the truth is you don’t have to engage with them on wanting or having to be right all the time. In fact if you do you will be making a rod for your own back, as the expression goes. By that I mean if you start to give in all the time and engage and entertain it, you will find it harder and harder to create the much needed change in your marriage.

Most of the time the need to be right and to make someone else wrong comes from the ego mind. All the time I get asked how to deal with an egostic husband or wife. Dealing with an egostical husband or wife is not easy. As it often is is not even remotely close to drama created about the facts. To help you and the relationship, if you are not interested or bothered about the topic do not engage in the debate or argument, don’t react. This can sometimes be the start of them changing. If you are struggling to change things in your marriage and one of you or both is stubborn, do check out the marriage makeover designed to help you connect better, communicate better and change this:

Start setting boundaries in your relationship

For a partner to always insist they are right and you are wrong is a clear indicator that they like to be in control. Sometimes they may be even attempting is to get you to doubt yourself. You will need to learn to be firm with your partner especially if you have taken the decision not to engage with them in their argument.

For example you may want to say something like “ I feel upset, because it feels like you are disrespecting me. I’d rather talk to you when you will listen and take on board my opinion.” If they continue to barrage you with why they are right and you are wrong, you may need to leave the conversation (literally) and refuse to engage in it. As there is never an excuse to be disrespected. They will most likely come after you and try to get you to engage but if you really want to create change you will need to be able to stand your ground. If they tell you that you are wrong, you can simply reply saying that is their opinion and they are entitled to that, just as you are entitled to yours.

Do not feel like you need to defend yourself or justify how you feel. By being able to stand your ground on things like this, the partner will hopefully soon get the message that their behaviour is not going to get them the results they are after. In the couples counselling abu dhabi, dubai and online work control issues are always at play with stubborn a husband and wife.

By standing your ground and not giving into their behaviour you are helping yourself break the cycle they have created and help the relationship to change and develop.

The marriage makeover audio program was $297 and now only $97

Consider Relationship Counselling and Marriage Coaching

Looking for help from an outside source in the form of private relationship online or in person counselling can help to put the situation into perspective for both sides. The input from an impartial third party can bring welcomed points of view. It’s helpful because when someone is constantly being told they are wrong or made to think that, that person can tend to doubt their own thoughts and perceptions so a new perspective and take on the situation can make things clear again.

It can also be helpful for the partner that always thinks they are right to help readjust their behaviour because being told something by a third party can have a different effect on the person as opposed to it coming from the partner always trying to be heard. I had a man recently that came for individual counselling in Dubai to change his need to always be right. He had a difficult childhood with a step dad who always had to be right and prove he was wrong, he couldn’t accept being wrong and fought his wife all the way until she was ready for divorce. This realisation and more importantly actions to change it really helped him. He now has on his phone and lap top the slogan “Is it more important to be happy or to be right?” Changing this has enbabled them to become closer and have a deeply passionate relationship again like when they first met. He never wanted or believed in counselling but knew nothing would change by itself.

If your partner refuses to get help or doesn’t believe in counselling and therapy then don’t be quick to dismiss it for yourself. It can be a vital support if you are feeling deflated or want help to define and stick to healthy boundaries you create. A good relationship counsellor and coach can help you install new habits that can benefit the relationship and also help build your self-confidence. Because working with an online relationship therapist when you go through this can provide the vital reassurance you may need to know that you are not in fact always wrong and support you to feel strong and wise again.

If you are not ready yet or don’t have the funds to speak to get a relationship counsellor for marriage then check out the marriage makeover audio program here it has 21 audios that will take you step by step to change your relationship…

Identify if you are dealing with a narcissistic partner

The term narcissism and narcissist husband / wife is constantly being banded around these days to describe men and women who are controlling, self-centered and obnoxious. More and more people are beginning to wonder if their husband or wife is a narcissist. In fact I would say not a week goes by without someone asking me in my couples counselling Dubai and online

How do I deal with a narcissistic husband / wife? Or how can I get my narcissistic husband or wife to change?

In the counseling they will tell me that they have read online about narcissism and are concerned their husband or wife is a narcissist. By far the greatest request is to how if it is possible to change a narcissist. Personally I don’t like to deal with labels when I am counselling people to transform their relationships. I instead like to work with the behaviours because if you are worried that your husband or wife is a narcissist and you read the online checklists, for sure you are going to find boxes they tick, because there are so many boxes and so many traits under the label. I get women and men I support to list out the behaviours that are causing them trouble in the relationship and then one by one we look at dealing with these in a forward focused approach. I do not believe in traditional marriage counselling that has two people focus on the past, where they sit down and bring up all the marriage problems. Talking about marriage problems without actions doesn’t work. Learning new ways to connect and communicate does – this is what I cover in my marriage makeover program and my free webinar

Marriage Makeover Program

Just because your partner always likes to be right, doesn’t mean they are a narcissist.

The most common description of a narcissistic behaviour is someone who is incapable of seeing things from another person’s perspective. They also constantly need the admiration of other people to feel good. This is why they may act excessively and always insist on being right. If you are dealing with a narcissist wife or husband then it may be more difficult to convince them to change their ways.

However I like to look at the reason why they are behaving like this. If someone is so needy they need to have attention and admiration and cannot bare to be wrong, it’s likely they are wounded or hurt in some way. It’s there wounded self that is hurting you and when we view it from a compassionate stand point we stop fighting and start moving forward and deciding do we want to wait for them to deal with this or support them if they allow you to help or is it time for you to part ways. Only you know that answer and can make that decision but speaking with an online couples counsellor or therapist can support you to explore all options and act as a thought partner to help you gain clarity.

The first thing I do in my individual or couple counselling in Dubai and Online is help boost my clients self-esteem and support them to get be the best version of themselves they can be. Relationships should make us feel more than rather than less than. Staying in an unhealthy relationship is not the way to live for anyone.

I have a gift for you… if your looking for more help with this check out my free marriage secret masterclass which is an hour and 15 minutes long that focuses on how to save your marriage online and how to deal with a husband or wife that is a narcissist / has to be right

I hope you enjoy.

Nicola Beer offers individual and couples counseling in Dubai in person and marriage counseling online either 1 to 1 or through her award winning marriage saving audio programs – most popular is the Marriage Makeover Program you can check out here

Mihaela BotnariMihaela Botnari
12:54 17 Mar 23
Thank you for destroying my relationship. My partner reached out for support and you advised him that there is nothing for him to heal and that he should send his girlfriend for therapy, like this is your place to tell him. I’ve been through therapy myself and I know how to make the difference between a good therapist and someone who just wants to get more money, and the second seems to definitely be your purpose!
Helen HHelen H
19:13 10 Nov 22
Nicola’s support and advice proved invaluable when my marriage was struggling. Over a series of meetings (online and fact to face, to suit our needs), Nicola helped steer us through a very difficult time. She was always calm, neutral and never made us feel like we had failed or had ‘messed up’. Nicola has a wealth of experience and keeps up with current research, but has a very unique approach to getting you back on track. With regular support materials and just being there, she helped us realise that our relationship could go on; by making us look at ourselves and helping us consider the tools we needed to move forwards. I can honestly say that I don’t think our marriage would have survived such a difficult time without Nicola’s expertise. I often listen to Nicola’s podcasts on Spotify when I’m needing a bit of extra support. Thank you, Nicola
Justin LossJustin Loss
13:23 30 Jun 22
Nicola has been a massive help. I had tried traditional counseling and it had seemed to be moving me further away from what I wanted. After listening to several of Nicola's podcasts I decided to reach out to her. The discovery call was enlightening and she described a process that was more focused on creating a better future vs reliving the pass. From there I went through her Breakthrough Program...All I can say is Wow! Her program and guidance has quickly changed my mindset which has in turn improved all my relationships and overall stress level. I highly recommend working with Nicola and can't thank her enough for her help and care.
Ciaran CarlisleCiaran Carlisle
22:16 23 Jan 22
My partner and I spent a number of sessions with Nicola discussing our relationship difficulties, both together and one on one sessions. She has been so good to talk to - incredibly helpful and understanding with our problems.My partner and I have come out of this with a better understanding and move love for each other. Nicola has taught us many techniques to use in situations were we feel at odds which has been fantastic. We would recommend Nicola 100% for relationship advice.Thank you so much again.
Loida Delgado-PerezLoida Delgado-Perez
03:09 22 Jan 22
Nicola's marriage counselling have been life changing for both my partner and I. The learnings have been exponential and have transform us individually and as a couple. We reached out to Nicola at the lowest point of our relationship and about to break apart. Her compassionate and smart yet practical advice and exercises transform us in such a way that we are now at the best we've ever been personally and as a couple.As a result we've decided to get married and book Nicola every year for a couple's check in! I couldn't recommend her sessions more to anyone feeling stuck and wanting to be in a better place. Best investment of time, money and effort EVER. Thank you Nicola, you are an inspiration to me and many others :)
Christianne KaddoumChristianne Kaddoum
17:19 20 Oct 21
The hours I’ve spent working with Nicola have been the most valuable of my life.I now feel equipped to do things differently. It’s been the most liberating and empowering experience and I’ve learnt things that will stay with me forever.Through the excellent help from Nicola, it is now possible for me to have a different and healthier approach to various situations.She has professionally helped me to consider my perspectives in a way I hadn’t before.I can finally begin to reframe my life experience and see them in a whole new light.Thanks Nicola!