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ADHD / ADD in Adults and how it impacts a relationship / marriage

Maintaining a successful or thriving relationship can be difficult at the best of times but when you have to take other factors, like a ADHD into consideration it can become a lot harder.

As a relationship counsellor & life coach Dubai and online I regularly see clients who find that they are struggling with certain areas in their relationship with their partner and believe there is an underlying factor that is causing a rift in their connection to their loved one.

“Dr Gabor Mate offers a groundbreaking and optimistic perspective on this much-misunderstood condition. Seeing it not as a disease but as a problem of brain development in the context of a stressed society often early on stresses in childhood”

It’s common to assume that disorders like Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) (ADD) are diagnosed only in children, however, there are a lot of people who don’t get diagnosed until they reach adulthood. This can make it even harder to maintain a relationship and this is why on my blog I will share more on –

  • How ADHD can present itself in adults
  • How it can affect a relationship
  • Tips on supporting a partner who has ADHD
  • What to look out for if you feel your partner may have ADHD

Check out all the blogs on ADHD or book a breakthrough call with me.

Research has shown that there are around 4.4% of adults in the US have been diagnosed with ADHD, however this number could be much higher because some of the symptoms that are present in adults with ADHD can be milder that children who have ADHD, and therefore they go undiagnosed.

Even if symptoms are milder in adulthood, they can still affect how well a person functions with daily tasks. For example – they might struggle to pay attention, they may act impulsively and make rash decisions. All of which would impact the way they work, how they interact with loved ones and how they lead their lives.

The most common symptoms of ADHD in adults are –

  • Acting impulsively without consulting others
  • Being really disorganized
  • Difficulty focusing on tasks
  • Poor time management skills
  • Keeping busy and feeling restless if staying still
  • Not able to multitask
  • Gets frustrated or angry really quickly
  • Frequent mood swings
  • Struggles to follow through on decisions
  • Can’t handle stress well
  • Lack of social constructs – interrupting when others are having a conversation
  • Gets bored very quickly

Even though some of us may experience one or more of these symptoms at some point in our lives, it is the persistent symptoms that keep on happening and affect a person from carrying out simple daily tasks, that make it more likely to be ADHD.

I have worked with many clients who come to me for breakthrough life coaching and when we explore their beliefs and reasons for lacking time management skills or struggling to focus on work, we realise that there is a set of limiting decisions that they made earlier on in life about themselves and their abilities that have blocked them. There is definitely more to it than being “lazy”. Often it stems from a deeper core belief or fear of failure, sense of not deserving the success, fortune or relationship they want and sabotage themselves time and time again.


The reason some adults might go undiagnosed is because there can be a lap over of symptoms between ADHD and other mental health conditions like anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder. In fact, it’s quite common for adults who are diagnosed with ADHD to also have a mental health diagnosis.

According to the Stats studies show –

  • Around 5 to 47% of adults with ADHD present with comorbid bipolar disorder
  • Roughly one-fifth to one-half of adults with ADHD have major depressive disorder/dysthymia (chronic depression).
  • Around 50% of adults with ADHD have some type of anxiety disorder.
  • More than 50% of adults with ADHD have a personality disorder.

Again we could look at this and lose hope, however in my experience helping people break free from the cycles of putting themselves down and expecting the worse they can live happy positive lives quickly.

If you would like to find out more about Nicola’s personal breakthrough intensive with people with ADHD in Adult Treatment in Dubai or for Teenagers click here to book a ADHD Freedom Call

To learn more about the difference between life coaching in Dubai and relationship counseling watch this video here 
As you will see in this 43 minute video online marriage counseling can be very different to working with an experienced relationship specialist and life coach.

Riti SajitRiti Sajit
06:58 25 Mar 23
Nicola is a wonderful human 🤍 Thank you for helping me through my difficult time.Still living by your words and advice. I would definitely recommend anyone needing relationship counseling to try Nicola :)
Mihaela BotnariMihaela Botnari
12:54 17 Mar 23
Thank you for destroying my relationship. My partner reached out for support and you advised him that there is nothing for him to heal and that he should send his girlfriend for therapy, like this is your place to tell him. I’ve been through therapy myself and I know how to make the difference between a good therapist and someone who just wants to get more money, and the second seems to definitely be your purpose!
Helen HHelen H
19:13 10 Nov 22
Nicola’s support and advice proved invaluable when my marriage was struggling. Over a series of meetings (online and fact to face, to suit our needs), Nicola helped steer us through a very difficult time. She was always calm, neutral and never made us feel like we had failed or had ‘messed up’. Nicola has a wealth of experience and keeps up with current research, but has a very unique approach to getting you back on track. With regular support materials and just being there, she helped us realise that our relationship could go on; by making us look at ourselves and helping us consider the tools we needed to move forwards. I can honestly say that I don’t think our marriage would have survived such a difficult time without Nicola’s expertise. I often listen to Nicola’s podcasts on Spotify when I’m needing a bit of extra support. Thank you, Nicola
Justin LossJustin Loss
13:23 30 Jun 22
Nicola has been a massive help. I had tried traditional counseling and it had seemed to be moving me further away from what I wanted. After listening to several of Nicola's podcasts I decided to reach out to her. The discovery call was enlightening and she described a process that was more focused on creating a better future vs reliving the pass. From there I went through her Breakthrough Program...All I can say is Wow! Her program and guidance has quickly changed my mindset which has in turn improved all my relationships and overall stress level. I highly recommend working with Nicola and can't thank her enough for her help and care.
Ciaran CarlisleCiaran Carlisle
22:16 23 Jan 22
My partner and I spent a number of sessions with Nicola discussing our relationship difficulties, both together and one on one sessions. She has been so good to talk to - incredibly helpful and understanding with our problems.My partner and I have come out of this with a better understanding and move love for each other. Nicola has taught us many techniques to use in situations were we feel at odds which has been fantastic. We would recommend Nicola 100% for relationship advice.Thank you so much again.
Loida Delgado-PerezLoida Delgado-Perez
03:09 22 Jan 22
Nicola's marriage counselling have been life changing for both my partner and I. The learnings have been exponential and have transform us individually and as a couple. We reached out to Nicola at the lowest point of our relationship and about to break apart. Her compassionate and smart yet practical advice and exercises transform us in such a way that we are now at the best we've ever been personally and as a couple.As a result we've decided to get married and book Nicola every year for a couple's check in! I couldn't recommend her sessions more to anyone feeling stuck and wanting to be in a better place. Best investment of time, money and effort EVER. Thank you Nicola, you are an inspiration to me and many others :)
Christianne KaddoumChristianne Kaddoum
17:19 20 Oct 21
The hours I’ve spent working with Nicola have been the most valuable of my life.I now feel equipped to do things differently. It’s been the most liberating and empowering experience and I’ve learnt things that will stay with me forever.Through the excellent help from Nicola, it is now possible for me to have a different and healthier approach to various situations.She has professionally helped me to consider my perspectives in a way I hadn’t before.I can finally begin to reframe my life experience and see them in a whole new light.Thanks Nicola!