How long does the effect of an affair last I am often asked?


The reality is being cheated on can cause a traumatic response in a persons body. A trauma is where a person experiences a contraction in their body they disconnect from their body go into their head and are unable to be in the present moment. That doesn’t mean that everyone who is cheated on will experience trauma, some may feel hurt or angry and carry but do not feel a contraction in how they are and their body, these people suffer but are not traumatised.


It is not the event, whether the event is reading of explciit sex messages, seeing naked photos, walking in on them having sex or phone sex with someone, finding sex videos on their phone that traumatises people.


The trauma of an affair can be painful



The event of cheating itself does not mean a person will experience trauma. Trauma is how the physical body responds to the event. 


It’s where a person’s body goes into a state of shock, where a person disconnects with themselves and their body. Their body goes into a state of high stress and alertness, hyper villance (being hyper aware of everything) this happens because the person feels threatened and unsafe. This physically, emotionally and mentally drains a person.


Why am I highlighting this point because it doesn’t matter whether it is mirco-cheating or full blown cheating when a person’s body contracts and they disconnect from themselves and their body it will need to be healed and their nervous system needs to be calmed.


Some people also find that the cheating awakens other traumas of being abandoned, rejected, being left or feeling unwanted.