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Symptoms and Signs of Codependency in Marriage and Relationships

Many relationships start with romance, cozy week-ends in bed and that feeling that you just can’t imagine your life without each other. It is often an equal balanced relationship of give and take for most couples. However, as the days roll into weeks, months and years it can soon become apparent how much the dynamics in the relationship can change.


For some people this can mean change for the better, for others sadly they become codependent, as in instead of caring they caretake.  Codependency has been termed an addiction to a relationship “Relationship Addiction”  where a person’s focus and purpose is managing and attempting to control another person’s life.


In this article I will cover the

The definition of Codependency

Symptoms and Signs of Codependency in Marriage and Relationships

Codependency Counselling


The definition of Codependency is excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one with an illness or addiction who requires support.

However now Codependency has been used to describe other unhealthy balances in relationships where one person gives up themselves to look after another.


If you now feel like you have changed in the relationship for the worst, if your partners mood and well-being is the focus of your day and life, then firstly know that you are not alone and secondly know that by just admitting to this that you are now in a great place. As I say to all those that take my freedom from codependency counselling online sessions, awareness is the first key step.


Identifying that something is not quite right in your life can literally change the course of your destiny overnight and all your relationships. Many people live a life where they stop living for themselves and instead live to help others. They get so caught up in the day to day business of life, jobs, kids and career that before they know it, they are three to twenty years older and a part of who they were and what they wanted from life pre-relationship has almost become extinct. For many people they will know this deep down that they are codependent. That they live their life to please others and rarely please themselves if at all. Very often this comes out as feeling constantly stressed, worried and anxious about what might happen to other people in their lives.


All the people I have helped become free of codependency, that came for codependency counselling in marriage or other relationships, had symptoms of anxiety, insomnia, stress and many felt sad and frustrated.  The clearest sign and symptom of codependency is the inability to say “No” despite often desperately wanting to say no. This can be a difficulty in saying no to cover up for someone with an addiction or aggressive behavior, to caretake another or to perform sexual acts within a romantic relationship they don’t want to do. The definition and sign of codependency is essentially where one person gives up themselves to get love from the other. When I see this in my marriage counseling sessions I typically recommend Codependency counselling as a treatment in Dubai or online.  Codependency is not just about helping people with alcohol or drug addiction, it’s about focusing your whole life on another and letting it rule you.  So the other person my have an eating disorder, excessive anger, financial troubles or a needy personality.


Relationships and marriage do change people and relationships change over time if it’s not for the better then it is something that needs addressing sooner rather than later. Each of us were born with unique gifts, talents and a purpose, if we have become disconnected from who we are and what we want, over time we can drift to a place that is not beneficial to our physical, emotional and mental wellness.


Codependency is linked to high levels of stress as if you are saying yes to someone else all the time it’s likely you are saying no to yourself.  This stress can be a symptom and sign of codependency in marriage and relationships.  Stress related health problems that can be changed simply by addressing the stresses and in this case codependence in ones life.


In her best-selling book ‘Mind over Medicine’ Dr.Lissa Rankin talks about how feeling stressed affects the body. She goes on to say that when people feel stressed this causes the brain to perceive a threat which can then affect everything from blood pressure to kidney function. Worrying about others can affect your body more profoundly than what you eat, how much you drink or whether or not you smoke her researched showed.  Do you worry about your partner? Do you feel alone in your relationship? Do you feel like you give up your needs, your wants, your desires to keep your partner happy? Who comes first in your life, you or your partner?


Many of us are taught at a young age to put other people first. It’s seen as the nice and right thing to do, it makes us the good girl or the kind guy, but is this really the basis for a healthy relationship? Very often we assume that by not putting other people first that we are in fact selfish, something nobody wants to be called. The truth however is that putting yourself first is the opposite of selfish.


Dr Gabor Mate in his codependence research claims that those who are showing signs of codependency in adulthood both marriage and family relationships are doing this because they learned this as a child. They wrongly think because this is what I did as a child, this is who I am and yet it is not who they are. It’s often something they had to do and become and can be changed.


What is needed is to cultivate more love for oneself is more assertive healthy boundaries. In order to be and give our best to our partners, children, co-workers and friends we have to start by giving ourselves the best of us. Putting ourselves first and that starts by figuring out what you need to live healthily happily and with little stress.


If you are taking on too much, if you are missing out on things you need or love then ask yourself why you gave that up, why didn’t you pursue it?


Were you afraid of being judged?


Were you worried about your partner’s potential reaction to something you wanted to do.


Did you say to yourself I am too busy worrying about and looking after them to think about me?


If you have realized from reading this that you are showing the signs of codependency then think about what you would like to change for yourself in your relationships. Start with 2 NO’s, where in your business or relationship do you want to say No and are not saying no.


From my heart to yours, Nicola


P.S If you are considering getting some help for your marriage or current relationship, then do take advantage of my free individual or couple online relationship counseling session simply email click here to book a call

Or get the marriage secrets e-book now  and for a limited time comes with a free forgive and let go meditation  – amazing right you can sign up here Get it while you have the chance 🙂

Mila TutorMila Tutor
07:10 25 Mar 23
I have worked with Nicola for some time now and have found her to be compassionate, kind, and extremely helpful. She has helped me a lot.
Riti SajitRiti Sajit
06:58 25 Mar 23
Nicola is a wonderful human 🤍 Thank you for helping me through my difficult time.Still living by your words and advice. I would definitely recommend anyone needing relationship counseling to try Nicola :)
Mihaela BotnariMihaela Botnari
12:54 17 Mar 23
Thank you for destroying my relationship. My partner reached out for support and you advised him that there is nothing for him to heal and that he should send his girlfriend for therapy, like this is your place to tell him. I’ve been through therapy myself and I know how to make the difference between a good therapist and someone who just wants to get more money, and the second seems to definitely be your purpose!
Helen HHelen H
19:13 10 Nov 22
Nicola’s support and advice proved invaluable when my marriage was struggling. Over a series of meetings (online and fact to face, to suit our needs), Nicola helped steer us through a very difficult time. She was always calm, neutral and never made us feel like we had failed or had ‘messed up’. Nicola has a wealth of experience and keeps up with current research, but has a very unique approach to getting you back on track. With regular support materials and just being there, she helped us realise that our relationship could go on; by making us look at ourselves and helping us consider the tools we needed to move forwards. I can honestly say that I don’t think our marriage would have survived such a difficult time without Nicola’s expertise. I often listen to Nicola’s podcasts on Spotify when I’m needing a bit of extra support. Thank you, Nicola
Justin LossJustin Loss
13:23 30 Jun 22
Nicola has been a massive help. I had tried traditional counseling and it had seemed to be moving me further away from what I wanted. After listening to several of Nicola's podcasts I decided to reach out to her. The discovery call was enlightening and she described a process that was more focused on creating a better future vs reliving the pass. From there I went through her Breakthrough Program...All I can say is Wow! Her program and guidance has quickly changed my mindset which has in turn improved all my relationships and overall stress level. I highly recommend working with Nicola and can't thank her enough for her help and care.
Ciaran CarlisleCiaran Carlisle
22:16 23 Jan 22
My partner and I spent a number of sessions with Nicola discussing our relationship difficulties, both together and one on one sessions. She has been so good to talk to - incredibly helpful and understanding with our problems.My partner and I have come out of this with a better understanding and move love for each other. Nicola has taught us many techniques to use in situations were we feel at odds which has been fantastic. We would recommend Nicola 100% for relationship advice.Thank you so much again.
Loida Delgado-PerezLoida Delgado-Perez
03:09 22 Jan 22
Nicola's marriage counselling have been life changing for both my partner and I. The learnings have been exponential and have transform us individually and as a couple. We reached out to Nicola at the lowest point of our relationship and about to break apart. Her compassionate and smart yet practical advice and exercises transform us in such a way that we are now at the best we've ever been personally and as a couple.As a result we've decided to get married and book Nicola every year for a couple's check in! I couldn't recommend her sessions more to anyone feeling stuck and wanting to be in a better place. Best investment of time, money and effort EVER. Thank you Nicola, you are an inspiration to me and many others :)
Christianne KaddoumChristianne Kaddoum
17:19 20 Oct 21
The hours I’ve spent working with Nicola have been the most valuable of my life.I now feel equipped to do things differently. It’s been the most liberating and empowering experience and I’ve learnt things that will stay with me forever.Through the excellent help from Nicola, it is now possible for me to have a different and healthier approach to various situations.She has professionally helped me to consider my perspectives in a way I hadn’t before.I can finally begin to reframe my life experience and see them in a whole new light.Thanks Nicola!