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Signs of a chameleon personality – Counseling in Dubai and online

Offering both depression treatment in Dubai and anxiety treatment I see many individuals struggle as they feel lost. They want either hypnotherapy in Dubai or online or couple counseling. 


So if you believe your husband / wife, girlfriend, boyfriend is changing and it’s confusing you or if you are wondering if you might have a chameleon personality then read below. 


  • They are very flexible in all aspects of life – they will go with whatever other people suggest and never seem to have strong opinions on anything. You may notice they say one thing and do another.
  • Depending on the social situation, their personality can change. You may notice them being the life and soul of a party that is lively and buzzing, and the next time they may also be totally reserved and show little to no emotion at a social event. Their behaviour will totally depend on the way people around them are.
  • People who are chameleons are extremely good at lying and can adapt their stories on the spot. They can prevent disagreements getting out of hand by changing their views to match the person they are speaking to.
  • Changes can be totally contradictory, for example, they enjoying eating meat and then to suit others around them become vegan, or are not into art and then to please someone pretend they are into art, done only as a way to connect with the other person. It can also happen with religion. One man I supported recently who came to me for relationship counseling dubai because he was having trouble saying what he felt and wanted to his wife. He had been going to church to please his wife for 5 years and yet he really didn’t believe or like going. He would start fights with her the morning of church or the night before so he could use it as an excuse not to go.  


Then they were considering couples counseling and he said before they do relationship counseling in Dubai that she should know he didn’t want to go anymore and that he was just doing it to please her, she was fine about it and told him to seek help for his people pleasing because she really was confused about the man she had married and that is when he came to me for individual counseling Dubai. 

He wanted to know how to assert himself, to put his wishes first, to be able to say no to shopping on the weekend, so he could have a lie in on the weekend if he wanted to. 


We then did some couples counseling and relationship coaching to help them reconnect and become closer. 


In social situations people with a chameleon personality often seem popular, someone that everyone gets along with, however in my experience working with them they struggle with romantic relationships.


Studies show that people who are constantly adapting their views, opinions and attitudes or beliefs to match those around them, struggle to maintain intimacy and connection with loved ones because they don’t know their own true self. 


In my experience offering depression treatment in Dubai and online and working as an anxiety therapist in Dubai I see many signs of chameleon personality in relationships – check out the list below.


A chameleon in a relationship is typically identified by the following – 


  • Takes on all their partner’s interests. They may not be into football at all and yet then start getting into their partners football team and telling them everything about them to get approval from their partner. Or they start working out at the gym because their partner goes.
  • Their routine merges into the same routine as their partner’s – even if it doesn’t suit their schedule, they do anything to make it work.
  • Their political views change to match their partner’s views. They can go from one political party to another purely based on what their partner supports.
  • You will notice personality traits start to resemble their partner’s. For example, trying to be funnier or more serious because their partner is that way.
  • They let their own preferences go for example needing the house to be tidy may change if with a messy person or vice versa. Rather than their own standards they match others. 
  • They ignore worrying signs or red flags in relationships. If their partner is behaving in a way that is upsetting, they overlook things to keep the relationship going. 
  • They don’t stand up for themselves and bury their feelings to avoid conflict. 


You can see from what I have discussed so far that a person who is a chameleon really struggles to have their own life – as their life morphs into their partner’s which is extremely unhealthy. This then can cause people to feel depressed and seek depression treatment in dubai or online. 


I also want to point out that finding a middle ground and making some compromises in relationships is natural, however, if one person is giving up every part of themselves to take on their partner’s way of life, this isn’t healthy.


Often, people who have been living the life of a chameleon can wake up one day and realise they are living with or married to someone who doesn’t truly know them. It can make them feel lost, confused and they can go through an entire identity crisis because they have always taken on opinions and attitudes or beliefs from others. This can lead them to questioning themselves, their family set up, their relationships and so much more. They also can have anxiety and it is why people search for an anxiety therapist in Dubai or online. Someone who has essentially been living a lie may struggle to figure out how to fix the situation – they may live in fear of breaking up the world as the know it but can no longer live a lie.


Once they realise they no longer want to live like this, it can be so tough for the other person. They may need some depression treatment in Dubai or online themselves. They may not understand what has caused the person they have lived with for years to change. They might start doubting themselves and wondering what they did to make their partner behave different. Or question if they have met someone else and are having an affair, they need to find a reason for the sudden change as it is hard to accept that they married someone who gave up themselves to fit into them and now wants to change back. 


For someone who is in a relationship with a chameleon it is natural to feel betrayed – they may feel like their partner has been lying to them the whole time and this can totally shatter any trust between a couple. It is often hard for someone to understand the concept of a chameleon. How can someone they love be so different and dishonest. Often, they will review the whole relationship and wonder what parts of their relationship is true and what is an act. Sadly, it can lead to the end of the relationship if the couple don’t get the right support, as when resentment and anger is unresolved it will keep coming up. 


For tips see article what to do if you are feeling lost 


Nicola Beer is an anxiety therapist and counsellor in Dubai offering couples counseling and relationship counseling dubai as well as individual counseling in dubai, depression treatment in dubai and online.


Whatsapp her or email for information. 


Do also watch the relationship transformation video, it will help you to know what to do to overcome your relationship challenges quickly

Mila TutorMila Tutor
07:10 25 Mar 23
I have worked with Nicola for some time now and have found her to be compassionate, kind, and extremely helpful. She has helped me a lot.
Riti SajitRiti Sajit
06:58 25 Mar 23
Nicola is a wonderful human 🤍 Thank you for helping me through my difficult time.Still living by your words and advice. I would definitely recommend anyone needing relationship counseling to try Nicola :)
Mihaela BotnariMihaela Botnari
12:54 17 Mar 23
Thank you for destroying my relationship. My partner reached out for support and you advised him that there is nothing for him to heal and that he should send his girlfriend for therapy, like this is your place to tell him. I’ve been through therapy myself and I know how to make the difference between a good therapist and someone who just wants to get more money, and the second seems to definitely be your purpose!
Helen HHelen H
19:13 10 Nov 22
Nicola’s support and advice proved invaluable when my marriage was struggling. Over a series of meetings (online and fact to face, to suit our needs), Nicola helped steer us through a very difficult time. She was always calm, neutral and never made us feel like we had failed or had ‘messed up’. Nicola has a wealth of experience and keeps up with current research, but has a very unique approach to getting you back on track. With regular support materials and just being there, she helped us realise that our relationship could go on; by making us look at ourselves and helping us consider the tools we needed to move forwards. I can honestly say that I don’t think our marriage would have survived such a difficult time without Nicola’s expertise. I often listen to Nicola’s podcasts on Spotify when I’m needing a bit of extra support. Thank you, Nicola
Justin LossJustin Loss
13:23 30 Jun 22
Nicola has been a massive help. I had tried traditional counseling and it had seemed to be moving me further away from what I wanted. After listening to several of Nicola's podcasts I decided to reach out to her. The discovery call was enlightening and she described a process that was more focused on creating a better future vs reliving the pass. From there I went through her Breakthrough Program...All I can say is Wow! Her program and guidance has quickly changed my mindset which has in turn improved all my relationships and overall stress level. I highly recommend working with Nicola and can't thank her enough for her help and care.
Ciaran CarlisleCiaran Carlisle
22:16 23 Jan 22
My partner and I spent a number of sessions with Nicola discussing our relationship difficulties, both together and one on one sessions. She has been so good to talk to - incredibly helpful and understanding with our problems.My partner and I have come out of this with a better understanding and move love for each other. Nicola has taught us many techniques to use in situations were we feel at odds which has been fantastic. We would recommend Nicola 100% for relationship advice.Thank you so much again.
Loida Delgado-PerezLoida Delgado-Perez
03:09 22 Jan 22
Nicola's marriage counselling have been life changing for both my partner and I. The learnings have been exponential and have transform us individually and as a couple. We reached out to Nicola at the lowest point of our relationship and about to break apart. Her compassionate and smart yet practical advice and exercises transform us in such a way that we are now at the best we've ever been personally and as a couple.As a result we've decided to get married and book Nicola every year for a couple's check in! I couldn't recommend her sessions more to anyone feeling stuck and wanting to be in a better place. Best investment of time, money and effort EVER. Thank you Nicola, you are an inspiration to me and many others :)
Christianne KaddoumChristianne Kaddoum
17:19 20 Oct 21
The hours I’ve spent working with Nicola have been the most valuable of my life.I now feel equipped to do things differently. It’s been the most liberating and empowering experience and I’ve learnt things that will stay with me forever.Through the excellent help from Nicola, it is now possible for me to have a different and healthier approach to various situations.She has professionally helped me to consider my perspectives in a way I hadn’t before.I can finally begin to reframe my life experience and see them in a whole new light.Thanks Nicola!