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I’ve talked about the mind and body connection on many occasions. It is so important to understand that the connection between our unconscious mind and our physical well-being is so powerful. What you think you create with your thoughts and if you believe that sex is boring, that you don’t have the energy, that you can’t relax enough to have an orgasm, that your partner is not doing the right things, that you don’t feel attractive – then this will become a self-fulfilling prophecy…
One of my clients explained that she found sex painful. When we discussed the lead up to the moment they were having sex, I noticed that there was this huge build up. They would often set a date night where everything was set up beautifully, they would both get dressed up and have a romantic dinner together. Whilst this sounds lovely, the buildup gave her too much time to overthink the situation and because she was not “as experienced” as her husband, she kept worrying that she would disappoint him or leave him feeling unsatisfied. That she was not good enough sexually for him. This caused her to become stiff and tight when they got into bed, making it harder for her to relax and enjoy having sex, it became painful as she was in her head and not in her body. When your mind is preoccupied with negative thoughts it can’t let your body relax, especially if you are expecting the worst to come true because that is what you are focused on. In her case expecting pain and to disappoint. When you stop trying so hard, then it becomes easier to relax and enjoy yourself freely. When you explore and get comfortable in being yourself and knowing yourself as good enough everything shifts.
Knowing that this huge build up was adding to the stress of sex, we decided to change the routine. Instead of having these grand date nights leading up to sex, I suggested they both try initiating sex spontaneously on any day and in any part of the house (or outside if they were brave enough!). I also created a multi-orgasmic hypnotherapy track for her and him in a private hypnosis session with me. It focused on suggestions to orgasm easily, to see themselves as having great pleasure together and deserving of great sex. I gave them the recording to listen to everyday to get their subconscious mind in the mood, this helped her to feel confident and more relaxed which enabled her body to open. This and the element of surprise took away the pressure and they started to enjoy exploring one another. The more she enjoyed sex, the more he enjoyed sex and the less she worried about being inexperienced. Instead of waiting to be in the mood for sex, just do it! When you initiate sex or start to get into the swing of things, you get in the mood. Too many people wait to feel more desire for their partner, yet it is like going to the gym or another form or exercise, we often don’t feel like it before we start but when we start we get in the mood. I have more many tips as a sex therapist Dubai and relationship counsellor Dubai and online.
Releasing the fears you have about sex or stepping out of the same old, same old routine can do wonders for your sex life. Often women will share with me that they don’t know what they like and this is where exploration is important. Finding out what you like is important for your pleasure and helps your partner. Taking time to know what helps you reach orgasm is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. I often hear women say they don’t experience an orgasm when having sex and this can leave them feeling like their needs are neglected. Yet sex starts in the mind and some people have not allowed themselves to let go. Not allowing yourself to fully let go is one of the main reasons why women can struggle to have them. This is why I created the orgasmic woman hypnotherapy, it is designed to help women have more orgasms whether that is clitoral or through penetration as well as experience multiple and full boy orgasms. Like all of my hypnotherapy tracks it works by repetition so I sell it in my sexual libido increase audio program. It just tells your mind that you feel sexually alive, and are able to enjoy and let go.
Many of us were sadly taught as children by elders or religion to believe sex is bad, dirty and for women un-lady like and not something one should desire and seek for pleasure. Yet the clitoris in the female body serves no other function, no other purpose than to give pleasure. Our bodies are designed to enjoy sex. Culturally it is in many parts of the world a taboo subject. That’s why often a mindset shift needs to happen, either through some sexual education, releasing sexual blocks in therapy with a relationship specialist or with hypnotherapy to release unhealthy beliefs and to install new ones.
So here are some tips from as a sex therapist and relationship counselor Dubai and online. As mentioned firstly taking the time to figure out what turns you on and what you like sexually, can make intimacy so much better and more exciting. But how do you do this when you’ve been with the same person for years?
Sharing your fantasies and fulfilling each other’s is one thing you can do. Some couples like role play. Playing the role of different people or professions etc gives you the opportunity to explore your sexual likes and dislikes and work out what gives you the most pleasure. Unless you are good at accents then I recommend not talking just enjoying. Some people meet at a bar and pretend they are meeting on a first date and be someone else that for some is fun.
You can also fantasize about someone else in your head if you want to, like a famous actor or actress. Some people believe this is wrong because it’s imagining someone else. However, there is no infidelity happening, it is only using your imagination and if helps to reach new heights of sexual pleasure with your partner and it’s them you are with, then it can only be a good thing!
Sex that excites you and fulfills your sexual desires is more likely to give you an orgasmic experience.
If you are seeking a sex therapist in Dubai or relationship counselor for many years Dubai and you want to change your relationship with sex then drop me an email or WhatsApp so that we can get you on the right track.
I have worked as a couples counsellor and sex therapist for years helping people helping unblock and release sexual trauma and have one to one coaching for individuals and relationship counseling Dubai and online for couples to increase their pleasure.
For those who want to know more about the hypnotherapy bundles I have a set of 4 for men, which focuses on sexual confidence and overcoming common sexual issues for men. And 5 for women which includes my becoming orgasmic hypnotherapy track, sexual confidence and openness check out my shop page. Or contact me to find out about sex therapy hypnotherapy in dubai