1. Ask yourself, could there be something missing in your life right now that makes you obsess with someone else?

Or are you escaping something?

If it is a pattern, stop and ask yourself what is the feeling behind driving it?

Sometimes there are things that we need to work on within ourselves or our relationships that we want to avoid seeing or doing something about. So people fall into idealizing other people or other situations.

Are you critical and harsh on yourself? Do you seek perfection?

Would it benefit you to work on the way you treat yourself and the expectations you put on yourself? If you are currently feeling excessive stress, loneliness, boredom or sadness If yes is there a better way to deal with it than obsessing about someone else? Could you benefit from adding excitement, passion or romance into your relationship or finding something fun and rewarding for yourself?

When I support people change their feelings this is what we do build self-love and confidence, create new interests and healthy ways to destress and let go of expectations. Sometimes people start a business, find new activities, make new friends and enhance their marriage to keep them fulfilled.

2. Put in practical barriers to stop you from getting carried away with this person.

There are things you may find yourself doing that is encouraging your feelings of infatuation / limerence, so it is important to remember there are always ways you can avoid falling into the trap of obsessing over someone.

For example, deleting or blocking their social media profiles so you are not tempted to keep tabs on them, replace your unhealthy obsessive habits with love for yourself or your partner – when you are tempted to follow this person why not take yourself for a coffee or listen to a meditation, or do something to connect with a friend or family member instead.  Treat yourself to some real connection time.

 Perhaps organize a date night with your partner. Use your energy to connect with yourself or others. Loneliness and disconnection is the biggest reason people get addicted to things. When people feel empty, alone they can often find things to escape this feeling and these things can become addictive. When you keep yourself filled up with love and connection, you are less likely to have interest in obsessing or daydreaming about anyone else.

3. Create personal and professional goals to redirect your thoughts.

Often, when we are bored or lacking purpose in life, we have more time to fall into obsessions and we tend to look for passion outside of our own lives. I help many people recover from addictions that can’t afford full board addiction treatment services. From game addiction treatment, food addiction treatment, sex addiction treatment which are part of my addiction counseling dubai. And either the cause is the loneliness or not feeling fulfilled or good enough.

If you are a Visual Person perhaps create a vision board with all words and photos of what your goals are in life – what do you want to accomplish? What do you want to have?  Where do you see yourself in an ideal world? Who do you want to be? Include goals you have as a couple too. Note goals are NOT to do list, I do a lot of coaching around goals because often people think goals are lists of actions and they write so many small tasks as goals they get overwhelmed and don’t meet them. Goals are big, things you want to have or be and ideally 3 to 5 is perfect for the next 1 to 5 years.

If you do a vision board put it up in a place that you see as soon as you wake up and when you fall asleep, as a constant reminder of what you are going for. If you are not a visual person then list your goals and values in life and look remember them for motivation on difficult times. When you are focused on what you want and where you are going obsessions and needing to escape can fade away. Some couples do the vision board together.

Use your goals as fuel to stay motivated and keep up the necessary action to get there. Having professional goals can support you to get there and escape the unhelpful thought loops.