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When it comes to marital counselling, people generally don’t give it a second thought ahead of their wedding. The idea is that why would they need this therapy before they even get married? “Isn’t that something that people who’ve been married a while do so they don’t end up divorced?”
You may or may not still being seeing each other with rose-tinted glasses. In my online marriage counseling many husbands and wife’s tell me that they noticed some problems or communication issues early on and choose to ignore them. In other words, by the time you get married, you may already have accumulated baggage in the relationship that you are essentially taking into your marriage.
Given how many people are divorcing these days, pre marriage counseling is something that can be beneficial for your relationship for so many reasons.
It’s simple. The higher amount of couples who choose to go to pre-marital counselling, the lower number of divorce takes place, as the marriage can start off on a good footing with aligned expectations. I will outline all the benefits of pre marriage counseling below.
If you’re wondering, what’s wrong with us if we consider pre-marital counselling, the answer is absolutely nothing. Choosing to take this route is not only a responsible way to handle problems but is something that you should take pride in being able to do. Think of it as if you are taking all the necessary precaution to protect this precious relationship you have. If you really love your partner and want that love to last, this is one thing you can do to give yourself lasting happiness and the happy ever after you deserve.
Here are some reasons why you should consider pre marriage counselling ahead of your big day.
1 Tackling your issues
Do you think those small annoying habits your partner has won’t continue to annoy you? What about things like not replacing the cap on the toothpaste, putting dirty plates on top of the dishwasher instead of inside or leaving wet towels on the bed after showering. While these are really small issues, they should not be discounted because these smaller issues can and eventually will lead to arguments and in time will become like a spark for everything big the relationship is facing.
Online pre-marital counselling is a chance to learn how to deal with these arguments and address any issues you both are having BEFORE you tie the knot. It will also help you because then you will be better equipped in dealing with the issues when they come up in the marriage itself. It won’t feel like this is unchartered territory that you are needing to figure your way out of. Many times this alone is overwhelming for couples and tends to make them freak out more after they have got married.
As a family and marriage therapist, I have seen so many couples who’ve waited too long to even attend counselling and resentment has built. It then becomes more difficult it to work through the issues that the couple may have. Choosing to attend pre marriage counseling can be the prevention instead of having to search for a cure later on in the marriage.
2 Been there, done that
As an experienced marriage coach and family and marriage therapist the wisdom I share is one of the main things that couples benefit from. Learning communication skills, how to keep the in love feeling is important. Choose a pre marriage counsellor that does more than listen, you want someone who is able to help you navigate through your particular problems or potential future disagreements. You know the topics you avoid speaking about hoping they will disappear by themselves. There is also a lot of free relationship advice on the internet, too much in fact but very little wisdom. Couples considering pre marriage counseling don’t need to be overloaded with conflicting advice, many do benefit however from reassurance and guidance based on their unique dynamic.
3 Everybody benefits
You both only have to gain from this experience and so will any future children because knowing how to stay connected, how to overcome issues quickly and address any red flags will help you avoid the silent treatment and angry outbursts. Yes it is true that every couple goes through a rough patch. Wouldn’t you want your rough patches to be quick and easily repairable? The key message here is that no matter what kind of couple category you fall into, learning relationship enhancing skills will serve you and even people outside of the marriage well.
4 Communicating effectively
This is probably one of the MOST important things you can benefit from in any marriage. Effective communication is a vital key in any relationship and even more so when it comes to marriage because when a couple gives up on each other and stops being able to communicate effectively, it is like serving a death sentence on the marriage. Marriage is not the simplest of things to navigate and sometimes when we are unable to express our feelings effectively or talk about topics like sex, affairs, children, where to live etc… It can lead to issues later down the line. You both need to be able to share when your hurt in a way that doesn’t hurt the other and apologise when you have wronged one another. Skills on this in pre marriage counseling can be invaluable.
As a marriage and family therapist that offers marriage therapy online and in Dubai, I make sure couples get plenty of exercises to practice intimate sharing, so they are equipped for life.
Check out part 2 in the next blog for the rest of the tips…
Or if you want to find out more and are open to consider pre-marital counselling, CLICK HEREcto book your 20-minute session with me.
Don’t be one of the men and women who say to me that they spent 1000’s and 1000’s on a wedding outfit they only wore once, around $20,000 to $40,000 on a wedding and $2000-$5000 on a honeymoon only to be miserable because they did not learn about communication and connection skills
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