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Pre Marriage Counseling – Free Relationship Advice (part 2)

Thanks for being here, it’s so important to make sure your marriage gets off to a good at start. Be sure to read part 1 if you missed it…

5 Managing your financials

How to manage finances in a marriage is a really important topic to discuss before getting married. It can cause a lot of offense if left to chance or one or both become defensive. How a couple goes about managing their finances needs to be discussed and in pre marriage counseling with a good marriage coach you can find out all the different ways couples manage it and pick the best for you. Some times couples will enter their marriage already in debt either from the past or financing the ceremony. I’ve worked with couples in my online marriage therapy that are hurt 1, 2, or even 10 years later because a partner did not disclose their debt. Your financial choices past and present will effect each other, so talking it through with an expert can help to reach agreements and align future expectations and plans.

Not being able to manage finances in marriage can cause serious tension between a couple and I can tell you as a family and marriage therapist money fights are a big contributor leading to divorce.

Counselling can help you align your financial goals, create a budget you both feel comfortable with and learn how to talk about anything concerning money so that never becomes an issue in your relationship later on.

6 Align future goals

Some couples are great at this and others avoid talking about where they want to settle, whether they want children or not, what material things they seen as a sign of success.

Just like building a house. You want the foundation to be strong not weak or constructed poorly because there was no plan. As it would then go on to compromise the rest of the structure.

While marriage is nothing at all like building a house, the principle remains the same. You don’t want to go into the marriage already on a shaky ground not sure of what your partners dreams, hopes and expectations are. Pre marriage counseling gives you the chance to discuss this and a good family and marriage therapist can help you discuss this in a way that brings you closer together.

It’s not a solid plan, as of course we are not in control of things that happen outside of us, it is more of a guide on what may support your relationship best. It’s about sharing what you want to achieve as a couple and individuals in the marriage. Thus helping strengthen your connection and avoid arguments later down the line.

7 Preventing divorce

This one is the obvious reason you would consider pre marriage counseling.

If you have been in a long-term relationship and things have been up and down for a while, it’s not a good idea to think that marriage will make that all disappear. Most find after the honeymoon is over the same issues resurface and disagreements you had prior to getting hitched continue.

This is the one reason that also shows how you can be responsible and enter a marriage wisely. Couples who have had pre-marital counselling are less likely to get divorced because they are equipped with the tools they need to combat whatever threatens their marriage.

If you can avoid half the issues that may give your relationship grief, isn’t it worth exploring in order to live a long and happy life together?

As a family and marriage therapist I hear from men and women all the time saying that they spent thousands on a wedding dress and suit they only wore once, around $30,000 plus on a wedding and $3000 on a honeymoon only to be miserable because they did not learn how to deal with their relationship issues prior to getting married.

They deeply regret not investing $1000 to $2000 in pre marriage counseling that could of saved them years of hurt, resentment and arguments.

If you’re open to considering pre-marital counselling, CLICK HEREto book your 20-minute session with me.

It’s free relationship advice and can give you the clarity you need on how to go forward.

CLICK HERE to book your free session now.

P.S If you know anyone that might benefit from this do feel free to share as I believe engaged couples need to get as much free relationship advice as they can, even if they are not going to invest in pre marriage counseling they may read this and be encouraged to talk it through.

Riti SajitRiti Sajit
06:58 25 Mar 23
Nicola is a wonderful human 🤍 Thank you for helping me through my difficult time.Still living by your words and advice. I would definitely recommend anyone needing relationship counseling to try Nicola :)
Mihaela BotnariMihaela Botnari
12:54 17 Mar 23
Thank you for destroying my relationship. My partner reached out for support and you advised him that there is nothing for him to heal and that he should send his girlfriend for therapy, like this is your place to tell him. I’ve been through therapy myself and I know how to make the difference between a good therapist and someone who just wants to get more money, and the second seems to definitely be your purpose!
Helen HHelen H
19:13 10 Nov 22
Nicola’s support and advice proved invaluable when my marriage was struggling. Over a series of meetings (online and fact to face, to suit our needs), Nicola helped steer us through a very difficult time. She was always calm, neutral and never made us feel like we had failed or had ‘messed up’. Nicola has a wealth of experience and keeps up with current research, but has a very unique approach to getting you back on track. With regular support materials and just being there, she helped us realise that our relationship could go on; by making us look at ourselves and helping us consider the tools we needed to move forwards. I can honestly say that I don’t think our marriage would have survived such a difficult time without Nicola’s expertise. I often listen to Nicola’s podcasts on Spotify when I’m needing a bit of extra support. Thank you, Nicola
Justin LossJustin Loss
13:23 30 Jun 22
Nicola has been a massive help. I had tried traditional counseling and it had seemed to be moving me further away from what I wanted. After listening to several of Nicola's podcasts I decided to reach out to her. The discovery call was enlightening and she described a process that was more focused on creating a better future vs reliving the pass. From there I went through her Breakthrough Program...All I can say is Wow! Her program and guidance has quickly changed my mindset which has in turn improved all my relationships and overall stress level. I highly recommend working with Nicola and can't thank her enough for her help and care.
Ciaran CarlisleCiaran Carlisle
22:16 23 Jan 22
My partner and I spent a number of sessions with Nicola discussing our relationship difficulties, both together and one on one sessions. She has been so good to talk to - incredibly helpful and understanding with our problems.My partner and I have come out of this with a better understanding and move love for each other. Nicola has taught us many techniques to use in situations were we feel at odds which has been fantastic. We would recommend Nicola 100% for relationship advice.Thank you so much again.
Loida Delgado-PerezLoida Delgado-Perez
03:09 22 Jan 22
Nicola's marriage counselling have been life changing for both my partner and I. The learnings have been exponential and have transform us individually and as a couple. We reached out to Nicola at the lowest point of our relationship and about to break apart. Her compassionate and smart yet practical advice and exercises transform us in such a way that we are now at the best we've ever been personally and as a couple.As a result we've decided to get married and book Nicola every year for a couple's check in! I couldn't recommend her sessions more to anyone feeling stuck and wanting to be in a better place. Best investment of time, money and effort EVER. Thank you Nicola, you are an inspiration to me and many others :)
Christianne KaddoumChristianne Kaddoum
17:19 20 Oct 21
The hours I’ve spent working with Nicola have been the most valuable of my life.I now feel equipped to do things differently. It’s been the most liberating and empowering experience and I’ve learnt things that will stay with me forever.Through the excellent help from Nicola, it is now possible for me to have a different and healthier approach to various situations.She has professionally helped me to consider my perspectives in a way I hadn’t before.I can finally begin to reframe my life experience and see them in a whole new light.Thanks Nicola!