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Is Depression Killing Your Relationship Or Have They Lost Interest? (Part 2)

THE WARNING SIGNS THAT DEPRESSION IS AFFECTING YOUR RELATIONSHIP

When a spouse acts withdrawn and unaffectionate, a couple’s sex life and level of intimacy will suffer. There is also a sense of shame attached to having a mental health disorder, which can prevent a depressed spouse from seeking help for a treatable illness.

If your relationship is struggling, depression may be the culprit. Depression is related to relationships in a cyclical fashion: depression affects the quality of your relationships, and the features of your relationship can affect your level of depression.

In other words, being depressed can cause you to pay less attention to your partner, be less involved, be more irritable or have trouble enjoying time together–all of which can cause your relationship to falter.

On the other hand, relationship problems such as high conflict, lack of communication, withdrawal, and difficulty in resolving issues, can all lead to depression.

Below are some warning signs you should watch out for:

– Your sex life has diminished or is non-existent.

While it’s normal to have an ebb and flow of sexual desire within a relationship and within an individual, a long-term lack of sexual connection in your relationship may signal that depression is present. Lack of sex drive can manifest from a variety of causes related to depression: hidden resentment, shame about sex, poor body image, feeling exhausted, taking medications, performance anxiety, and so on.

– You feel hopeless about your relationship.

A sense of hopelessness is one of the central predictors of depression. Feeling hopeless about your future together doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doomed. Instead, a cognitive distortion that so often comes with depression may be manipulating your thoughts into believing the future looks hopeless and that things will never get better.

– You’re tempted to act out.

Men, in particular, who are depressed, are more likely to express their depression outwardly. If you’re a depressed man, you’re more likely to act out your depression through drinking alcohol, becoming aggressive, having affairs, or shutting out your loved ones and withdrawing. Men also have a more difficult time identifying their depression and are less likely to get help for it because they may not even recognize their behaviours indicate an underlying depression.

– Anxiety is affecting you.

Anxiety and depression are often seen together. The problems that come with mixed anxiety and depression include; sleep trouble, concentration difficulties, low energy, high irritability, and worry, expecting the worst, and being always on guard, can also present a challenge to your relationship. When you encounter the everyday relationship problems that arise, you often perceive that there’s a grave threat to your relationship. It feels like the relationship is doomed to failure. This perceived threat can trigger heightened anxiety and excessive reassurance seeking–which can place your relationship under even more stress.

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Mila TutorMila Tutor
07:10 25 Mar 23
I have worked with Nicola for some time now and have found her to be compassionate, kind, and extremely helpful. She has helped me a lot.
Riti SajitRiti Sajit
06:58 25 Mar 23
Nicola is a wonderful human 🤍 Thank you for helping me through my difficult time.Still living by your words and advice. I would definitely recommend anyone needing relationship counseling to try Nicola :)
Mihaela BotnariMihaela Botnari
12:54 17 Mar 23
Thank you for destroying my relationship. My partner reached out for support and you advised him that there is nothing for him to heal and that he should send his girlfriend for therapy, like this is your place to tell him. I’ve been through therapy myself and I know how to make the difference between a good therapist and someone who just wants to get more money, and the second seems to definitely be your purpose!
Helen HHelen H
19:13 10 Nov 22
Nicola’s support and advice proved invaluable when my marriage was struggling. Over a series of meetings (online and fact to face, to suit our needs), Nicola helped steer us through a very difficult time. She was always calm, neutral and never made us feel like we had failed or had ‘messed up’. Nicola has a wealth of experience and keeps up with current research, but has a very unique approach to getting you back on track. With regular support materials and just being there, she helped us realise that our relationship could go on; by making us look at ourselves and helping us consider the tools we needed to move forwards. I can honestly say that I don’t think our marriage would have survived such a difficult time without Nicola’s expertise. I often listen to Nicola’s podcasts on Spotify when I’m needing a bit of extra support. Thank you, Nicola
Justin LossJustin Loss
13:23 30 Jun 22
Nicola has been a massive help. I had tried traditional counseling and it had seemed to be moving me further away from what I wanted. After listening to several of Nicola's podcasts I decided to reach out to her. The discovery call was enlightening and she described a process that was more focused on creating a better future vs reliving the pass. From there I went through her Breakthrough Program...All I can say is Wow! Her program and guidance has quickly changed my mindset which has in turn improved all my relationships and overall stress level. I highly recommend working with Nicola and can't thank her enough for her help and care.
Ciaran CarlisleCiaran Carlisle
22:16 23 Jan 22
My partner and I spent a number of sessions with Nicola discussing our relationship difficulties, both together and one on one sessions. She has been so good to talk to - incredibly helpful and understanding with our problems.My partner and I have come out of this with a better understanding and move love for each other. Nicola has taught us many techniques to use in situations were we feel at odds which has been fantastic. We would recommend Nicola 100% for relationship advice.Thank you so much again.
Loida Delgado-PerezLoida Delgado-Perez
03:09 22 Jan 22
Nicola's marriage counselling have been life changing for both my partner and I. The learnings have been exponential and have transform us individually and as a couple. We reached out to Nicola at the lowest point of our relationship and about to break apart. Her compassionate and smart yet practical advice and exercises transform us in such a way that we are now at the best we've ever been personally and as a couple.As a result we've decided to get married and book Nicola every year for a couple's check in! I couldn't recommend her sessions more to anyone feeling stuck and wanting to be in a better place. Best investment of time, money and effort EVER. Thank you Nicola, you are an inspiration to me and many others :)
Christianne KaddoumChristianne Kaddoum
17:19 20 Oct 21
The hours I’ve spent working with Nicola have been the most valuable of my life.I now feel equipped to do things differently. It’s been the most liberating and empowering experience and I’ve learnt things that will stay with me forever.Through the excellent help from Nicola, it is now possible for me to have a different and healthier approach to various situations.She has professionally helped me to consider my perspectives in a way I hadn’t before.I can finally begin to reframe my life experience and see them in a whole new light.Thanks Nicola!
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